Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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