Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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