3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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