uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
