I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
