and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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