i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
