I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize