I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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