I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
