i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
