Got a toothbrush?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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