Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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