That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
