Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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