seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize