office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
