PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
