you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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