Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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