She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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