this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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