There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
