SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
