tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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