Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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