i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
