What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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