perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I look better un-naked...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
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Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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