please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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