Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We need a shit load of segways right now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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