Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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