Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
