Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
false alarm. still invincible.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
