I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
