Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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