I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
