do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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