Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
