South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
