Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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