Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
