phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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