no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
