Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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