I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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