Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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