twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Come see our sink grown plant.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
