so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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