worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
