do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
