she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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