No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
a search helicopter?!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
