He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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