Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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