Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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