I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
