before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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