I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
