I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
