So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Small penises have feelings too.
this boner is exhausting
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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