worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner