and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form