sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
