pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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