NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question