Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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