Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
