who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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