Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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