Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
