ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
