I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
True strength comes from lack of pants
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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